This story is one of religious significance and something that is one of my most precious memories. There’s a colonial children’s pray that begins - Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, should I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. The death of a loved one can be one of the most challenging and soul-searching events someone can go through. The way it happens can bring extra closer or leave thoughts of I should have or could have done certain thing before the unexpected event. When my father passed away it was after a seven-year battle with Alzheimer’s, there were no quality goodbyes or a chance to rectify regrets or sorrows. His passing was in reality a celebration, the freeing of his soul or spirit from his prison of confusion and forgetfulness. But the thoughts I’m sharing aren’t of his life or death but those of my wonderful mother. She was a widow for ten years and during that time she never lost her love or desires to be with my father again. She lived a full life and continued to enjoy her family and the events that were important to her. But after close to fifty years of a loving companionship there is no way to fill the void and loneliness that comes to anyone that loses their eternal companion. With such a large family I think most of us thought there was no time of possibility to be lonely, but that loneliness wasn’t because of not having someone to associate with - but for the loving interaction that comes with years of pains, joys and the personal relationship that is developed or earned over time. One of the tender mercies of my life was the night that I went to my mothers house to borrow her quilting frames for my daughter. We sat in her living room and talked for more than an hour, she bore her soul about how she missed my father and we talked about old times, we laughed and shared our love for each other. This was less than a week before she passed away from an unexpected heart attack. It was the last time I was able to talk with my mom. That hour reminded me of the times we use to sit up late together watching old movies, playing games and talking. That evening will be one that I will never forget – I’m so glad I took the time to spend with her instead of just running in and taking the frame as I had intended. Upon relaying this experience to my brothers and sisters you could see the envy and wanting they shared to have one last event like this. I wasn’t the last of the family to talk to her before her death but I was the last one to spend time talking about what she was feeling and the desires to be with dad. A couple of days after her passing I was up late preparing a talk to give at her funeral. I was struggling to formulate the message I thought needed to share. For years we had a family newsletter that all of us were suppose to write in. My wife kept them in a certain location down stairs. But that night I went to a cupboard in the kitchen and found three of these letters not in the proper location - all three were written months or years apart, each included a letter to the family from our mom in which she bore her testimony of the Savior and the truthfulness of the gospel. She expressed her love for each of us and talked about how proud she was of the way we had all turned out. I received the strongest feeling that this is what she wanted me to say at her funeral. At that moment out of the corner of my eye I saw her in the room smiling and knew that she was influencing the preparation of my talk to express her love and faith to those that she loved one last time. This event was only for a short moment, but one of the most spiritual event of my life. My faith of an after life is as strong as any belief that I have. I can envision the embrace and wonderful reunion that she had with my father and how they spent time renewing their love and excitement of being together again. Their lives have been the greatest influences in mine – their faith and example are the shining star to leads me in my darkest moments. Indeed they continue to influence my chooses and faith and will forever.
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