When you got to go –

There are a number of things we usually just don’t talk about; normally these are things we’re trying to forget. Now in this case it’s something everyone has to do – they even have commercial on T.V. that advertise medication to help control it. When I was growing up I didn’t have the strongest bladder, but at times even the strongest bladder is stretched to the limits at least the individual involved thinks so. One night in New York City we were walking to the empire state building when the man in front of us must have reached his limit as he decided to relieve himself in a planter on the side of the street. It was late in the evening so there weren’t as many people as rush hour but there were plenty of witnesses. Physically this situation is easier for a guy – but at the beginning of a major bike race I ran onto a lady in the bushes by the church doing the same thing – I had a key to the church but didn’t know it was needed. My bladder problems usually were less public and normally happened at night. My brother heard that if you put someone’s hand in warm water while they were sleeping it would open the floodgates. I became his first test case, which was kind of crazy since we slept on bunk beds and he was on the bottom. All the experiment did was make it happen sooner than later. It didn’t happen every night and there were things I could do to improve the odds – but it was still a little like Russian roulette it was going to happen I just didn’t know when. My father tried to bribe me with money if I didn’t wet the bed, now if I had that much control I didn’t want to do it in the first place. All of these happened forty years ago. Another time I need to go is when I hear rain or running water. For years I had to walk a block to our church early every Sunday morning, now it wasn’t very far but two of the houses I passed had fountains with running water – so the first place I had to go after entering the church was the restroom. Both houses have since been sold and the new owners must have the same problem, thus no more fountains. The sound of rain or running water effect more than just me, we once drove from Boston to a small fishing town on the coast of Maine named Camden. There were a lot of old houses that have been turned into bed and breakfast inns. What a great place to visit. Everything was wonderful including the weather until we started our journey home. As we started to leave town we couldn’t resist the sign – a McLobster. Only in Maine! Our friend decided to make it a meal, since my wife didn’t like lobster or any seafood for that matter but the fries are another matter. The large soda was the part our friend wishes he hadn’t gotten, or maybe it was his savior. The return trip was uneventful until we hit what could be considered a storm of the century – southern Maine received fourteen inches of rain in approximately five hours. It washed out a number of roads and it took us four hours to travel less than five miles. Now picture this - four people in a small metal car with the sound of rain beating down for four straight hours and one of the four just drank a large soda. Now it’s my experience that these things comes in waves, you need to go then it goes away but returns latter strong than before. After a few hours of this situation and the side aches accompany it – he had reached his limit. There was no exit – no trees or bushes on the side of the road and more witnesses then were acceptable. Thank goodness for his empty cup! He couldn’t keep it much of a secret and we were laughing so hard I’m sure it didn’t make it easier. If I’m not mistaken he had to empty the cup twice – not that the rest didn’t need to go when we finally got to a gas station. To say the least we missed our plane and spent the night making unscheduled connections, but the car ride in southern Maine is the part we won’t easily forget.