Perfect for a moment - (need to write again)

I've never know anyone that is perfect. If you look at the whole picture and take into account we all make mistakes and do stupid things. There are a few things I'm perfect at: I have never wanted too or tried to kill anyone. There would be other areas of my life that are perfect, the number of these would be much smaller than the number of areas I fall short in. There is perfection in other areas in a lot do different areas -there's the perfect presentation, the perfect dinner or situation. These would all be in the eyes of the beholder. In sports there is the perfect shot or game, this kind of perfection though rear is easy to prove or evaluate. I have never witnessed a perfect game in baseball; this is when a pitcher giving up no hits, walks or errors - no one from the other team reaches base. But I have participated in a no-hitter, which is also very unusual. In golf I have witnessed the perfect shot or a hole-in-one. Let me take that back, I have witnessed the perfect score on a hole, but it wasn't the perfect shot. First let's talk about the no-hitter. It took place my junior year of high school; I was playing first base against our biggest rivals, and a school located eight miles north of us almost twice our size. In the seventies most kids had long hair and believe me, we thought it looked good. Our pitcher that day was our best longhaired hippy impersonator. He was a senior and disliked our opponents as much or more than the rest of us. He was quit vocal at the first of the game as normally is the case when playing your chief revivals. I don't have the box score or remember the play by play, but what I do remember is what started to happened as the game went on. After the first few innings everyone on our team was still excited but we started to avoid our pitcher in hopes of not putting any more pressure on him. The chatter from the other team was a little less directed at us and took the form of trying to support them - almost a plea for each batter to break the curse that was bringing shame upon them. I wasn't to concerned about messing up on a throw to first base, if that happened it would have been an error and we weren't talking about a perfect game "just a no-hitter." Just a no-hitter! I had heard about these but personally had not witnessed one. The longer the game went on the more pressure that seemed to be in the air, it was a home game and those in the stands realized what was going on. The final out was a hard hit liner that was caught just a foot or so off the ground by our shortstop. We never took the championship or for that matter even went to state, but we had witnessed or participated in a once in a lifetime event. It was beautiful to behold. Now the hole-in-one, Now for the one that went in. This was a perfect score but far from a beautiful shot. One summer day a co-worker and I were looking for any excuse to get away from the grind of work. Being commissioned salesmen we could leave the office at anytime to call on customers, if you decided not to work, you didn't get paid. So we decided to go golfing. It wasn't the best day to play hooky as it was overcast and looked like it could rain at anytime. We were only going to play nine holes, which is normal for hackers that had no idea what a handicap even is let alone wanting to find out what ours was. At the farthest location away from the clubhouse we knew we shouldn't be there, the winds were extremely strong and the rain had started to fall. It's probably isn't a good idea to be lifting a metal object into the air in the middle of a torrential downpour. We agreed that we would only play one more hole then back to the cars. It was a par three that was less the a hundred yards long, for the normal golfer this required a pitching wedge to get to the hole. I remember I went first and hit my ball into the air and with the wind being so strong the ball took off to the right of the hole maybe as far away from the pin as I had started. This was crazy, why are we still out here. My co-worker scared to hit the ball as high as I did, took out either a three or five iron; he didn't have a four iron - starter set hardly ever do. He hit a low line drive that hit the ground about thirty yards short of the green but with the wind and how hard he hit the ball it skipped a couple of time and then started to roll. The wind was so strong that the direction of the ball as it rolled on the green was defiantly altered. I had started to walk to my ball when his dropped into the hole. Neither of us could believe it, it had really gone in the hole: the ugliest most amazing shot I have ever seen. We didn't finish the round and for that matter I didn't even finish the hole. When he got to the club house, he proceeded to tell the club pro of his feat, the first thing the man said was which hole were you on and what club did you use. He told him and the man laughed and walked away, not only didn't he believe him but he laughed at him as well. No notice was put in the paper, which is what normally happened, but he had one witness, that I still think he doesn't want to tell the whole story. But he can honestly tell anyone about how he has had a hole-in-one, just making sure he doesn't give to many details.

Dinner Time -

I love my mom with all my heart; I got my personality from her. But, she wasn't a good cook. Now when I tell people this, the first one to defend her is my wife. She points out that my mother never had her driver’s license and so my father did all of the grocery shopping on the way home from work. You need to know that he would go to the smallest market in town because he knew the owner and it was next to his office. Because money was tight I'm sure we would eat what was on sell most of the time. I'm sure she did the best she could under the circumstances. But, even with all the benefit of the doubt, she wasn't a good cook. My mother passed away a few years ago at the age of eighty. So I know I'm not hurting her feeling, as a matter of fact she would probably agree with me. When she cooked she also had to make large portions to feed our army. Don't get me wrong, I ate and loved everything she cooked. I don't think I knew she wasn't the greatest cook until I got married and found out I had married some kind of chef. When I came home with groceries once I was told that I should take back the margarine, no matter how poor we are, we will always use butter. Someone should have told Mom things taste better with butter. Mom use to make her own pizza sauce - maybe they didn't have it already made back then. I think it was more like stewed tomatoes on a crust, there was cheese but I think the only meat we ever used was hamburger. There is no doubt that Mom had a hard job to feed all of us and make due with what Dad brought home. The meal its self was an event; we almost always had a sit down dinner together. I remember kneeling in prayer before we would start and after amen it was like eight panthers springing to make the kill. I'm bigger than all my brothers because I have longer arms to grab the food. I have a vague remembrance of forks being stuck in the back of my hand - but perhaps that is a suppressed memory that could come out with thousands of hours of counseling. The only protected entree was the meat, which was under strict supervision of our father. This probably was a good idea or my meek little sister wouldn't have gotten any meat at all. As it was we would have encouraged as many siblings as possible to be vegetarians. There was special consideration given to curtain siblings, I don't know it that was to shut them up or if it was intended to protect the weak for the savage boys. But for the most part I loved to sit down as a family for dinner, those that didn't have their months full the whole time would talk about the day and what's coming up. Mom and Dad were almost always the last ones to leave the table - it probably was the must relaxing part of the day. The kids weren't asking for food and weren't hanging around or they would have to help with the dishes, even though someone was always assigned to do them. Despite all of the excitement and confusion, it boiled down to the fact we loved each other and this was the time we were mostly together in some degree of contentment.

First Sin -

Many religions contemplate the topic of original or the first sin. Believers of the Bible turn to Adam and Eve as the originators of sin. Philosophy or teachings differ to the point that even the salvation of every soul is in question. Some believe that not only did their sin affect Adam and Eve, but were passed on to future generations and if not rectified even infant children can be lost. Others teach it wasn't even a sin but a transgression, and the lesser of two choices. Others state that it only introduced sin into the world and we are only responsible for our own actions and that is what will affect our eternal salvation. Some believe there is no such thing as sin, just choices that affect others and the responsibility to be good neighbors or citizens. I will leave this discussion to another time and a different setting. The question I will address is do you remember the first time you sinned, transgressed or knowingly did something contrary to the rules of a greater being or society in general. I don't know if there is anyone that just woke up one day and decided to commit a major crime when such a thought had never entered his or her mind before. If you could honestly recall your first breech of innocence it would most likely be a minor or inconsequential event. My first recollection of noticeable guilt or regret came shortly after my eighth birthday. I had been baptized when I turned eight and in my mind I was clean and pure - making this fall from grace a little more memorable. This sin carried a monetary value of sixteen cents. With inflation and the increased cost of goods and services the value in today's dollars of this indigestion is in the sixty-cent category. This heinous act was a sin of opportunity not a premeditated action with extended planning and contemplation. My victim was an older woman at the ripe age of ten. While playing with her brother I happened upon a small purse, which held my bounty - a dime, nickel and one penny. With this impulsive theft I also learned an important fact that results from criminal behavior, such acts to be successful usually need to be followed up with additional crimes or lies. My sin began to unravel shortly after the act as I accompanied my father and a couple of my siblings to the grocery store. With my unexpected windfall burning a hole in my pocket, I headed to the candy section of the store. I love black licorice! The selected item was taken to the checkout stand, purchased and in hopes of not having to share I went to the car to devourer my reward. When my father returned to the car and realized why I was already there, he began his inquisition. You must know that my father was a judge in the judicial system for more than thirty years; this man had heard every excuse known to man. It hadn't crossed my mind that it would look like I had stolen the licorice! I had paid good hard cash for that - now where the cash came from was another story. With confidence and resolve I answered honestly that I had not stolen the candy. Being a great cross-examiner from his many courtroom appearances he then asked the killer question. Then where did you get the money? The jig was up - with tear in my eyes I couldn't answer the question. Now at the age of eight I had no understanding of the Fifth Amendment, and in our house in this situation I don't think it would have made any difference. My inquiry was postponed for the monument, until I was able to secure adequate representation - my mom. She then was able to participate in the grand jury investigation. But even with the greatest defense team I knew at the time, the evidence was overwhelming as I spilled my guts on the first question. The proper judgments and punishment was assessed and a confession to the neighbor girl was preformed. I would like to say that this is the only time I have sinned or transgressed - but to do so would be another transgression.

Fun Sucker

Fun suckers is a phrase my son says all the time about those that ruin things for everyone else, some individuals and organizations are imposing their opinion and wills on the others because they believe their option is more important than your. This is happening in almost all facets of life. The local High School has changed most of their Homecoming activities over the years because of a few kids were doing stupid thing. Of course they do a stupid thing that's what kids do. Sports have become less fun and more competitive at a very young age. Many of these fun suckers are parents trying to get an advantage or to relive their childhood dreams through their children. During my early years our pony league baseball games were played only in the summer and then there were eight teams all from the same school, we played each other and almost every kid played. Now there is only one team and they travel all over the state and even the country - many players are chosen for super league teams in the fourth grade. A Sport Illustrated story on www.sportillustrated.com (07/17/07) talked about college coaches recruiting athletes in the eighth grade. One high school's successful football team told its players that if they wanted to be part of their program - basically they had to give up all other sports. We would play every sport at the schoolyard and would beg all kids to show up. A few soccer players in developmental leagues are choosing to not even play high school sports, believing it will hinder their chances to be seen or receive scholarships. Just the super athletes play multiple sports. National media have run many stories about the problem of steroids even in high school athletic programs. Even the game of golf is being tainted with rumors of enhancement drugs, joining cycling, baseball, football, basketball and the greatest of all real sports - professional wrestling. The mentality often is anything to succeed. Then when they don't the fun sucker blame anyone they can. (Parents suing coach and league - because her child hurt himself sliding). It uses to be that sport didn't last all year and were just for fun. For more than twenty years I have coached youth sports teams. This has been from football, basketball and soccer. Some of these fun suckers are so concerned with winning that they will do anything possible to give their kids the advantage. In a few of these coaching years we have been part of a draft to make the teams as fair as possible. Of course a coach should be able to have his own child on their team. I went to one such football draft that the other coach gave his assistants coaches' names so their kids could be part of his team as well All these names were the best player's fathers - but that wasn't the problem I had with the names. Three of the Dad's were helping our team and had been with me when we were deciding whom to pick. The other names were approved and put on his roster, but the fathers never helped coach. But most of this is isn't that important; in our city there is a recreations soccer league. The teams are divided according to the elementary school they attend. Our school has a larger amount of kids that participate. The person in charge of dividing the teams has a daughter the same ago as my daughter and her husband also coaches, for some reason he always has the best players, luck of the draw I'm sure. One year I had the opportunity to coach the 2nd grade girl's soccer team. This was the worse group of soccer players I had ever seen. Only two of the girls had played the first few years and most likely won't play many more. But what happened was one of my greatest coaching experiences. I have a couple of daughters that are good soccer players and help me when they can. We always start with a number of drills to teach the basics and to show the girls where they are supposed to be on the field at any given time. We were having a very difficult time and I was worried that it wouldn't be a good experience for the girls involved. I have said for years that the best way to pick a youth soccer coach is to line all the parents on the side and see who yells the loudest. The yelling should only be directed and letting the girls know where they should be and give encouragement. After the first game lose, by the score of 5-0 with no shots on goal, it became obvious we needed to do something different. Our practices were changed so we could make them fun, because the games weren't going to be. We played dodge ball by kicking the ball and a number of other games. Practices and games always ended in a grass fight and many times a water fight. It took us four games before we scored our first goal, you would have thought we had won the World Series. One little girl ran down the field and started doing back flips. The next few games not only did we score but we started to win. The second to last game we played and beat the first team that we had lost to by five goals. The final score was 2-1 and as we went to give them high fives the coach told us that was the first game they had lost all year. Our beginning five game losing streak we a distant memory. All the training I have received in coaching was contrary to what we had been doing. As we made it fun for the kids they wanted to play harder. The next year we weren't much better, but a couple of our players were put on the director's daughter's team. I guess someone had noticed. It's not only in sports but politics as well. My son ran for student body officer in high school one year and there were multiple kids that spent hundred's if not a thousand dollars on posters, banners with full length color photo's - about half of them hired professional video production companies to do their video's to be shown to the student body. The cost had convinces many great kids that they can't participate in many school activities. My son proudly announced that he had spent $60.00(still more than some kids could afford). He lost the lowest spending title to a young man that spent only $50, I'm glad to report they both young men won their individual election. We had a national presidential candidate come to our small town; it cost a thousand dollars to go to the meeting and more than twice that much to have your picture taken with him. Decisions are made with an attorney and to avoid a lawsuit more that with tradition and what's best for the whole. Many of these things are changed forever as the cost of possible lawsuits or running a campaign makes it impossible for the normal person to participate. Many of the activities we did as children have been replaced by Wii, Play station and many other activities. We spent time on practical jokes that would put my kids in jail. Even toilet papering is considered a crime; well I guess it was then too. In a small town it seems all everyone know each other. One night we were out with a group of our friend's toilet papering someone's house. The reason we got caught is there was about twenty of us. As the police arrived he put four of us in his car - maybe we looked more like criminals than the others. You proceeded to ask us our names. When I gave him mine he had to ask if I was related to the City Judge, whom happened to be my father. He proceeded to ask me what my father would do if he knew what I was doing. He then proceeded to question one of my friends whom father was on the City Council, his reaction was similar and then he went on to the Majors son. He laughed and asked the fourth boy if his dad was a Governor. He then said no one will believe this and sent us on our way. Are we so concerned with the few or the pursuit of making sure our needs are met that we forgot what its like to be a kid and what build the memories and experiences that make us who or what we are.

Apple War--

This next story is given a little with tongue in cheek, it's hard to tell a story that could give some people an idea to throw large pieces of fruit at each other’s heads. Maybe that's why I've always liked the three stooges.

Throughout my life I have heard many analogies about boats and the sea. I grew up far from any ocean and spent no time on a ship. Those that have spent much time on a ship or boat would tell you how important the helm and rudder is. If broken no matter how wonderful or magnificent your vessel is you could be lost at sea. Without the ability to steer the ship and to change the course when needed, you would be better off on the pier.

I grew up in a small town where most people continued to plant gardens and orchards in their back yards. One day some of my friends and I heard that my brother and some of our other friends were building a fort under an apple tree in the middle of our block. To a twelve-year-old boy this is as great as Disneyland. As we approached their location it became obvious they didn't want us to join their group as they began to throw apples in our direction to keep us away.

The apple tree was next to a garden; across the garden was another orchard with a number of apple trees. We ran up to my house and with the help of another brother we found fishing net in the garage. Why there was fishing a net in the garage is beyond me as we lives more the seven hundred miles from the nearest ocean. Who ever owned the house before us had left it behind. We took our net and secured it between two trees across the garden from their fort.

What ensued was the battle of all battles as we began to throw apples in each other’s direction. It became obvious in a short period of time that our fortress was far superior to that of our opponents. We could easily step out from our net and throw apples and then step back behind the net as they would throw theirs. We even put boxes at the bottom of the net that would collect their apples making it unnecessary to pick new ammunition.

I remember sitting behind our net thinking we were far superior to our opponents. As we were basking in our intelligence all of the sudden something hit me in the face and other objects began to fly through our net making it worthless. Our opponents had cheated and had found a plum tree not far away. The plums were small enough to penetrate the net leaving no protection from the flying fruit.

Life is very similar to our apple fight. As individuals and companies get complacent and stand securely behind what we have always done or the way we have always done business. Our opponents or advisories are continually changing their approach or direction trying to get the advantage. This requires us to always be evaluating our situation and making the necessary changes long before it's too late.

Fish

I love to eat seafood – it must be a gender things because so does my son. Now for my wife and the girls it’s another matter. Almost without fail when my wife says she doesn’t like fish, someone says to her – “well have you tasted it.” I guess the only way you wouldn’t like fish is if you haven’t tasted it. She has and still she doesn’t like it. There may be something to some people not liking it because they haven’t tasted it or their parents thought it was disgusting. One time at the grocery store there was a lady handing out free samples of shrimp, and the kids where going back for more because it tasted great. After they had snorffed down their second piece I decided to tell them what it was. My son wanted a third piece and a couple of the girls starting feeling sick. Despite the fact I love to eat fish, I don’t like going fishing. It has nothing to do with how much it hurts the animal or that maybe it’s a long lost friend that has been reincarnated. I just think it’s boring. Unless you’re in Alaska, this should be on your list of things to do. We went on a cruise to Alaska one year and took a day trip to fish for King Salmon. Believe me one day isn’t long enough. It only took me three minutes to hook the 34 pound monster – but about twenty minutes to real her in. Actually I don’t know if it was a he or a she because they even cleaned her for me. When I finally got the fish in the boat my arm were just burning and my heart was beating out of control – it was great. My friend caught one a pound heavier than mine, which he has reminded me of many times. We have some pictures of the adventure, all from my friend’s camera. Some idiot had told him that he should have a yellow lens cover and it would take clearer pictures when it's cloudy, or something like that. Well all of our pictures are yellow – I look like I have jondeses or something. I’ve fished other locations and for some reason the guy next to me always catches more fish than I do. The catch and release thing is not my cup of tea –unless your catching King Salmon then you can catch another one. One of my favorite ways to eat fish is smoked. There was a family in our neighborhood that use to smoke rainbow trout. This was so good that we would beg for a sliver or sample to help us remember why anyone would fish in the first place. One day a member of the family came over to the park with a whole smoked fish. There were five or six of us that started to beg, plead and promise to worship the ground he walked on. None of it was working and he made a challenge that no normal human would ever accept. Well this was smoked trout we’re talking about. If any of you pee your pants you can have it. What did you say! – to late, before most of us could even consider the possibilities the kid across from me was half done. Man, I can’t believe it that was the fastest urination I have ever seen. I know some people have stage fright and have a difficult time at the urinals if there are many people around. At least the guy kept his promise and handed over the fish. As the victor waddled away we looked at him in total disbelief and envy. I still remember him saying – “I needed to go anyway.” No wonder he won, he already needed to go. That’s not fair, I demand a best of three or something. Clothes could be washed and the stink will go down the drain after a shower, but he got a whole smoked fish and like heck he was going to share.

Success

In contemplating what success is, many believe Webster's 1973 definition to be correct. "A favorable termination of a venture; the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence." These definitions, though correct, to me seem to be so final - "termination," the "attainment of." To me life is a process of successes and failures, all of which ultimately make us what we are and the happiness we achieve. This process many times brings with it wealth, favor or eminence - but success and happiness are not the result of these things for most people. To me success is the inner peace and contentment that accompanies the completion of, or more likely the pursuit of ones greater self. When we honestly evaluate what we believe and strive to achieve that end - is when we obtain or achieve a measure of success and fulfillment. This was brought home to me as I have worked in the financial industry for more than twenty years. The mortgage crisis of 2008 saw my net worth diminish by more than 80% with in a matter of months. This was with a company claiming to have none of the problem sub-prime lending and continued to tell its employees all is well. This came on the heels of a senior executive's decision that the current model of my job was out dated or wasn't in the best interest of the company, despite its profitability. The changes were followed by losses and a couple of years later a gradual change back to what wasn't, in his opinion good for the company. My loyalty and dedication has been rewarded by the large decline in my future retirement possibilities. This process of failure and my personal discouragement has in its own deranged way helped me find an understanding of what is important and actually increased a form of inner peace, despite the lack of the "attainment of wealth, favor or eminence." Society many times keeps score of success by who accumulates the most toys or the largest portfolio. Power and authority have become a goal or measuring stick for many in their pursuit of acceptance and success. Sports figures have found a measure of success in their professions, which can be accompanied by fame and fortune. But, this isn't a guarantee of success in their personal lives, as far too often we hear stories of bankruptcy, drug abuse and broken families. Perhaps it's true the only guarantee is that things will change. This phenomenon is as old as life it's self. Believers of the Bible need only look to the Book of Job chapter one. "There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil. (He had) a very great household; so this man was the greatest of all the men of the east." If society was keeping score there was no doubt he was a success. From this point he lost everything including his friends and family. During this decline he continued to be a success in his eyes and the eyes of God. Society viewed him as a fallen and wicked man, but his inner peace and faith remained strong. The question we need to ask is to what extent we would go in order to succeed and what successes do we desire. What is success to you? The answers vary, as widely as there are individuals to answer the question. The real question is are you being true to yourselves and not compromising success and happiness for what others believe or society teaches it should be? Then are we truly willing to pay the price to achieve that inner peace? I think at different time in our lives we view what will make us happy differently. At the age of twenty I had the opportunity to live for a short period of time in Santa Fe New Mexico. My job on a daily bases was to go door-to-door talking to anyone that would lisen. I know now that many people despise the distraction of some strange man invading their personal space. On one certain day we were going to the wealthiest part of town. The homes were beautiful and to live there required a large degree of financial success. Those who were home were less than enthused to see us. We were greeted with just about every negative reaction possible. Now I'm sure in a different setting most of them were great people. As we started to leave the area we came across a humbler section of town and the first door we knocked on belonged to an elderly woman who answered the door with a wonderful smile. We introduced ourselves and she asked us in, she immediately told us she wasn't interested, but offered us something to drink. She spent the next few moments asking about us and our families at home. She told us about her family whose pictures were all over her small home. I thought she must have been lonely, but she told us how most of them still lived close and came to visit her often. The contrast between the people we met that day was so extreme and if you were to evaluate what kind of life they had and their level of success most involved would favor the elderly lady of meager means. Each of these people had no interest in the reason I came to their door that day. But as I left, I felt renewed, happy and wanting to be more like the woman I had just met. I believe true success is not selfish, but wants us to pass it on, or to nurture those around us.