Fish

I love to eat seafood – it must be a gender things because so does my son. Now for my wife and the girls it’s another matter. Almost without fail when my wife says she doesn’t like fish, someone says to her – “well have you tasted it.” I guess the only way you wouldn’t like fish is if you haven’t tasted it. She has and still she doesn’t like it. There may be something to some people not liking it because they haven’t tasted it or their parents thought it was disgusting. One time at the grocery store there was a lady handing out free samples of shrimp, and the kids where going back for more because it tasted great. After they had snorffed down their second piece I decided to tell them what it was. My son wanted a third piece and a couple of the girls starting feeling sick. Despite the fact I love to eat fish, I don’t like going fishing. It has nothing to do with how much it hurts the animal or that maybe it’s a long lost friend that has been reincarnated. I just think it’s boring. Unless you’re in Alaska, this should be on your list of things to do. We went on a cruise to Alaska one year and took a day trip to fish for King Salmon. Believe me one day isn’t long enough. It only took me three minutes to hook the 34 pound monster – but about twenty minutes to real her in. Actually I don’t know if it was a he or a she because they even cleaned her for me. When I finally got the fish in the boat my arm were just burning and my heart was beating out of control – it was great. My friend caught one a pound heavier than mine, which he has reminded me of many times. We have some pictures of the adventure, all from my friend’s camera. Some idiot had told him that he should have a yellow lens cover and it would take clearer pictures when it's cloudy, or something like that. Well all of our pictures are yellow – I look like I have jondeses or something. I’ve fished other locations and for some reason the guy next to me always catches more fish than I do. The catch and release thing is not my cup of tea –unless your catching King Salmon then you can catch another one. One of my favorite ways to eat fish is smoked. There was a family in our neighborhood that use to smoke rainbow trout. This was so good that we would beg for a sliver or sample to help us remember why anyone would fish in the first place. One day a member of the family came over to the park with a whole smoked fish. There were five or six of us that started to beg, plead and promise to worship the ground he walked on. None of it was working and he made a challenge that no normal human would ever accept. Well this was smoked trout we’re talking about. If any of you pee your pants you can have it. What did you say! – to late, before most of us could even consider the possibilities the kid across from me was half done. Man, I can’t believe it that was the fastest urination I have ever seen. I know some people have stage fright and have a difficult time at the urinals if there are many people around. At least the guy kept his promise and handed over the fish. As the victor waddled away we looked at him in total disbelief and envy. I still remember him saying – “I needed to go anyway.” No wonder he won, he already needed to go. That’s not fair, I demand a best of three or something. Clothes could be washed and the stink will go down the drain after a shower, but he got a whole smoked fish and like heck he was going to share.