Public Speaking --

I’ve heard a number of times that the two greatest fears that most people have is dying and public speaking. I don’t know much about the dying thing – but like the majority I’ve had fears of speaking in front of people. In my seventh grade math class the students decided to sing happy birthday to me – I was so scared and embarrassed that I accidentally stabbed my leg with my pencil under my desk. The lead broke off and left a grey dot that can still be seen today, I guess it’s like a mini tattoo.

On more than one occasion, I remember giving a speech or talk in school or church and having my leg shake so bad I looked like Thumper the rabbit in Bambi. I had a speech impediment that made it hard to say things the way I wanted too. At least most of the times there was a podium that I could hide behind. I think it’s helpful to be a little nervous before an important presentation or discourse – not only does it help you to prepare, but also it keeps you on your toes. I must have done all right in those early years since our primary leader at church used to call me her little patriarch – I didn’t know what a patriarch was but she said it in a pleasant manner so I knew it wasn’t bad. Every time someone didn’t show up to give his or her scripture, talk or prayer, she would recruit me to fill in. It seemed that people didn’t show up quit often.

As I was growing up, and even extending into my college years, I had a number of opportunities to speak publicly. Despite an occasional bout of nerves, it really didn’t scare me that much so I signed up for a public speaking class in order to meet one of my elective courses in college. It really was a fun class and was divided equally between men and women. About half of the men were on the university football team, I guess they needed to know how to speak to the media, or they may have aspired to become sportscaster after their illustrious careers. I took the class because I thought it would be an easy A. Most of the class members were communications majors and the course was required for graduate. Over the duration of the class, we were required to deliver approximately five speeches and had a number of assignments on how to prepare a speech. These were all important to your grade, but all of these together weren’t as important as the final exam. The good and bad part of the final is there was really no way to prepare. It was a two day, four hour event – and most of the time all we did was listen to the other students giving their speeches. The way it worked was that just before your turn you walked to the front of the class and picked a piece of paper out of a large bowl. On that piece of paper was a topic that would decide your fate or seal your ultimate doom.

We were given a few moments to collect your thought or to clean up the accident that you just had. Then you presented an extemporaneous speech that would basically decide your grade. We were graded on three criteria – composure, delivery and audience reaction. The content of the speech had little or no importance because you had no time to research the facts and details of the chosen topic.

When it was my turn, I approached the menacing bowl at the front of the room with trepidation - like everyone else. Hesitantly I picking my topic from the bowl, it read “The evils of Gossip.” What? I thought for a moment then I had the perfect idea. I approached the front of the class and started my remarks by saying; “What’s faster than a speeding bullet and sharper than a two edged sword?” I then hesitated, answered my own question by saying - “A woman’s tongue.” What happened was exactly what I expected; I received an instant reaction from the class, which was one of the judged criteria. The men cheered and laughed. The women were visibly offended and booed loudly. I proceeded to talk about how women were totally to blame for the problem of gossip and pointed out that gossip not only hurts people, but also wastes time and money as it destroys productivity in the business world. Now remember, facts were not important – I had no obligation to prove my hypotheses, I just had to present it. At the end of this impromptu masterpiece the men in the class gave me a standing ovation, the woman took it for what it was worth an opportunity to ace a college final. The professor then did something she said she had never done before; she gave the next speaker – a woman, the chance to pick a new topic or give the opposite view of my speech. Because the class was already worked up, she would have been crazy to choose another topic. I don’t remember what she said and it really didn’t matter because I had accomplished my objective and nailed the speech and in turn the class. I’ve given hundred of speeches since that day but never made up facts to get a reaction or in this case a grade.