I did something for the very first time – when you’re fifty years old it’s harder and harder to say such a thing without getting in trouble or having to buy a new kind of undergarment. I wrote a letter to the editor – and they actually printed it. After I wrote it I thought it was great – then I pushed the send button and my mind screamed out what are you doing? I even used my real name. I hadn’t thought of using some other name, the same day there was a letter from a Helen Waite, which some people were concern didn’t really live in the small town in question. My mother’s maiden name was Helen Hunt; she had a lot of stories about people telling someone to go to Helen Hunt for it.
I don’t know what came over me to write a letter; it had never crossed my mind before. You can ask my wife there are a lot of things that have never crossed my mind before – like doing things around the house. The letter I wrote had a point, and of course I thought it was a good one. As with many of my conversations it was written with a twist of humor, which my family points out isn’t always good because I’m not as funny as I think I am. I was just trying to show how ridicules society is becoming.
One thing I was unaware of is that people could respond or critique your comments in a “blog” on the papers web site. It was more than a week later before a friend told me that it was there. I had twenty-eight entries about my letter. A few of the comments were in response to other “bloggers” evaluations and not my original work. Some of them were very supportive a few even thanking me for the letter – or thanking me for poking fun of five different government agencies. Others wisely pointed out that I had made a serious mistake, now maybe that was writing in the first place, I had admitted in print that I had put soap in a public fountain – which I’m sure is against the law.
Now I will have to admit that I did this act more than twenty-five years ago, but it sounded like it was the last time such an act took place. This soap discretion was committed when I was still young enough to run away from my crime. Besides the “bloggers” I’ve had a lot of feedback from those that read the letter. One man asked me why I would have put soup in the fountain – I guess I could have used a couple of cases of Lipton cup a noodle. I was assured by the chief of police a couple of years ago that the statute of limitations has ran out on most of my youthful acts – of course that is the out going chief and I have no idea what the new regime will say. Since I’m coming clean, I might as well admit to all of my criminal behavior. I have toilet papered more than once – being caught twice. I have egged cars and jaywalked across Main Street. With the exception of jaywalking – all of these acts happened in the 70’s.
Anyone reading this article that thinks they have personal knowledge of other discretions I was involved in that aren’t on the list, there could be a couple of reasons: 1st the statute of limitations isn’t up, 2nd – I’m too old to remember that they ever took place, or 3rd your mistaken and I wasn’t there. Now I’m sure that because I have admitted to these dreadful crimes I wouldn’t be able to run for any kind of political office. Can you imagine what the media could do with this information in a heated school board campaign – with the winner having authority over young impressionable minds? One “blogger” was astonished that I would participate in such acts of vandalism “which cost thousands of tax payer dollars in cleanup and repair.” Now the “blogger didn’t list their name and where I could find them – I’m sure it was because they were afraid I would put soap in their sprinkle heads (I wonder if that would work?)
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