Over the river and through the woods!

I don't know when or who wrote the song - but going to grandma's house has always been an adventure. Since we've been married we have lived about a six or seven hours drive from Lori's parent's. The younger the kids the more often we made the journey to grandma's. Now that their older it has become a once or twice a year event - but it's usually been on Thanksgiving. I don't know how many rivers we've crossed, there are a number of canyons or woods - but most of the way is covered by sagebrush and then at the end even cactus. When people ask what we're doing for Thanksgiving I always love to see their faces when I tell them were going to Vegas. "Hey baby let's go to Vegas" and "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" might be the themes of the parting crowd, but when we go it's the same as any other visit to the in-laws in a normal suburbia neighborhood. We never go to the strip or see much of the glitz and glamor - except occasionally we go to the casino's, because they have the best movie theaters or bowling. Most of my wife's family lives there, so it's no big deal to them that we come - but its a highlight for our family. Since most of these stories are for historical remembrances there are a couple of memories I should point out. After Lori and I were married we were making our way to Vegas on a unorganized honeymoon to make it to our wedding reception. In a small town named Meadow we were at a gas station and a little bird flew into the store window and died. For years I've turned off the radio or TV and had a moment of silence as we pass Meadow in remembrance of the little bird that lost it's life as we were beginning our life together. On the way there we always eat in Nephi and gassed up in St. George. On the way back we eat and gas up in Cedar City. It's almost like we're creatures of habit - everyone is fine as long as we don't change the agenda. We always need to switch seats at each stop and we had a portable TV that with the help of bungee cords and a makeshift stand made it nice to pass the time. I'm just glad we never got into and accident and that would go fling thought the windshield. When they would say how much further - the answer was in the form of how many more movies they needed to watch. For the first ten or fifteen years we would stop in Kannaraville to see Lori's Grandmother. When we make it to Vegas then the fun begins - well that depends on who you ask, we do do some things that we can't do in Logan. Spencer was the one that had the hardest time at grandma's - all of his cousins were girls and sitting around and visiting only made it fun for a couple of minutes. SO we went to the go-karts, Red Rock canyon, movies etc. Now the girls always want to go shopping and spend time with thee cousins. No matter what way you look at it - being with family was always the highlight of the trip.

Fast Track

We moved to Logan in the Spring of 1994 - this was coming home for me. One of the first things we did was start building of our new home. So I convinced a friend to rent us part of his house during the construction process, this worked out great for both of us since he was single and had more room than he needed. Since I was coming home there was a real possibility that there would be a number of people that knew me from before - good and bad. Also because I came from a large family there was the reputation of those whom associated with the people I was forced to live with as a child. Now you would have to agree it was forced - but in my case that wasn't bad at all, I actually liked my family. Church wise we lived in a different stake than I grew up in and I had a brother that a few years before had been on the High Council and served as as the first Bishop of the Crockett Ward in our new stake. Apparently he had done a wonderful job - which was good for him, but kind of put me on the radar when I showed up. Within a couple of weeks I was called to visit with a member of the stake presidency and was called as a stake missionary. This can be a hard job especially when there are only a couple of people in the area that don't belong to our church. This was a calling I had held a couple of years earlier in Ogden where there was a little more possibility of success. Lori was called with me and it was the first time we worked together in a church calling. It didn't last very long. After we moved into our house - I received another opportunity to meet with the stake presidency. This time it was all of them not just one of the three. So after only serving a few months as missionaries I was called to the High Council and both Lori and I were released from the stake mission. The greatest blessing of being called to the High Council was that my father was able to ordain me to the office of High Priest - he was in failing health and I'm sure this is the last ordinance he preformed during his great life of service. That was one of the tender mercies that I am so thankful for. Now I met with the stake presidency a couple times a month - but not one 0n one like those two interviews. If that was my goal it didn't take long before I had another opportunity. After a few months on the High Council I was called to be a member of the Bishopric in the 40th ward - a singles ward in our stake. I was the second counselor and had a wonderful experience for a couple of months at which time the first counselor was called to a new position. Well guess who became the new first counselor? There isn't a lot of difference except you get another interview with the stake presidency. They never meet with you along - at least not for all of the time. Lori was always asked to come along, to make sure that she could support what I was doing. We had a lot of little kids and it's hard when your husband is off playing around and your left to fend for yourself. She was great and always said the right things even if it wasn't easy to accept. The hardest part for her was that we didn't go to the same meetings and if the kids were acting up I couldn't give them the evil eye of - shape up or else. Oh well - that didn't last much longer as we received a call in October of 1995 to come meet with the stake presidency again. This would be the fifth interview in less than a year and a half. Like all but the first one, there were all three members of the presidency in the room. After we all shook hands, which is definitely and Mormon necessity - Lori made a profound statement, "don't you guys know anyone else in the stake?" Now having served in the stake presidency later, I know that they had other interviews during the year - but that's what it felt like. At that time I was called as the first Bishop of the Eastridge Ward, that was formed a couple of weeks later. This was another sacrifice for the family which Lori supported - but at least now we were in the same meetings and I could see what the kids were doing.

Nunheimer

What's in a name? When you think about it your first name really shouldn't say anything about you. It was given before your parents knew your personality, likes or moods. Now the last name that could bring with it some baggage - I guess a first name could too if your named after an extended family member. Your last name shows your heritage - comes with the DNA, looks and possible weaknesses or deceases. My father had Alzheimer's, studies show that it can be hereditary. My mother and her father both had heart attacks which run in curtain lines. The mom's side of the equation usually doesn't pass on their name, but the DNA is just as powerful. I can't do anything about the DNA or the possible problems - it's the heritage that I hope I can live up too. Each of the boys in my family have middle names that are part of our heritage. My two oldest brothers have my mothers maiden name. The next one has the name of the family that took my father in at a young age and raised him as one of their own, they gave him a home and the love that he had never felt up to that time. Both of these names have extended meanings and should give those that posses them the desire to honor and carry it on with pride. My middle name is Nunheimer - as you can tell it is defiantly German. This is my grandmothers maiden name of, the one that died from complication giving birth to my father. The ultimate sacrifice, she died a few days after he was born I hope she had the chance to hold him and tell him she loved him. At least that's how I envision those few critical days after his birth. Her death set off a series of events that would challenge anyone - but they weren't fair for a child. My father was the only link to the future for the DNA of Nell Nunheimer, these were passed on to each of his children. So with-in my veins and make-up are strands of her DNA, physical straights and weaknesses. I could have some of her mannerisms, looks and who knows what else. We don't have a lot of information about Nell and her family, they lived in Indiana and her parents were immigrants from German that used the name of Nunheim on the journey. Theres a poem about Nancy Hanks the mother of Abraham Lincoln who died when he was nine - believed to be written by Rosemary Benet. Nancy Hanks came back as a ghost wanting to know how her son turned out. "Wheres my son? What happened to Abe? Whats he done?" My father never turned out to be a President or freed millions of slaves - but he was a huge success, he was the father of ten, an attorney, a public and church leader, I'm sure Nell would be pleased to know what he made of his life. Now it's my turn - what would she think of her name sake?

Doctor -Teacher - Mentor - Friend

There's tons of titles in life, some are achieved others are earned. The term Doctor is earned with a lot of education and dedication. For the purpose of my story this title can be used for both a father and a son. There was a family that just lived around the corner from us during the growing up years. The father was a professor at the local University and had his Doctorate - thus earning the title. The son was one of my friends and went on to medical school and then specialized in Orthopedics. When curtain people meet them on the street they would address them as Doctor. I've learned a lot over the years from these two great men and would consider each of them a great influences in my life - but neither of them has ever served me in their doctoring capacities. The son's first title of the listed possibilities was friend - but he's taught me a lot as well. He's the young man I mentioned in the story "Fish" that beat us all to the draw, thus receiving the coveted prize. More as a hobby this family had a farm about twenty minutes outside of town and once in a while I would go there to help. The first time I went my friend told me to pick up a stick and follow him. We went over to a grain bin and when he opened it up there were three or four mice running for cover - we proceeded to use the stick before they could escape. On that same visit we both happened to need to take a pee at the same time. Instead of going back to the house he said let's just go over here out of the way. Now why in the heck would I bring this up - well he forgot to tell me that we were standing in front of an electric fence. Of course he knew, making sure that he was really careful. It didn't take long for me to understand that liquid is a great conductor of electricity. I didn't go to the farm that often, and there were times the family went and my friend stayed home as well. I don't know all of the details but he didn't think his parents were coming home one night. When they did, they decided to make sure he was in bed. As they looking in him room, in a half unconscious state, he thought someone had broken into the house. Instead of running past them or opening the window - he just did a swan dive through the glass on to the bushes and made a mad bash for our house. Back in those days no one ever locked the doors and he came right in and woke us up. So two of my older brothers, myself and my friend started for his house with bats and what ever else we could find as weapons to see what was going on. As we were crossing the street his dad drove up trying to find the sleeping escape artist. The father was always a great teacher and mentor for all of us kids - he was one of the scout leaders mentioned in "Nude People" and was always finding a way to let us know what was right, but more importantly he always made us feel good about ourselves and the accomplishment we archived.

100

Ya - the crest, the climax, the reaching of a lofty goal. When I started this hobby, quest or dream I had decided to write a hundred entries - stories or what ever you want to call them. This is it! When I look over the titles there are only a few that I'm not proud of - I have a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction. There are approximately fifteen or twenty that I would consider my classics - the ones that make me laugh just thinking of them. This quest started when my loving wife told me that my church talks needed some more spice - that I needed to add personal experiences so they wouldn't be so boring. Then I realised that many of my stories aren't the one's you'd tell in church - I wanted them to be recorded as well. It's also been said that I' m not as funny as I think I am, so I'm not offender that others don't like my stories as much as I do. As far as my fleeting memories allow - all of them are true and happened just like they are written, minus a bit of humor. I have sent copies to many people that are involved and asking them to make corrections if they thought it needed to be done. As I was talking to Lori and my daughter Kamie about the number 100, my mind went to the classic movie scene in the the movie "You've Got Mail" when Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are talking about the e-mail address of her pen pal or secret admirer. Unbeknown to Meg Ryan that person is Tom Hanks and the movie is approaching the time in which this fact will be made known to her. That e-mail address is NY152, they are trying to decide what the number 152 stands for - "he's a 152 years old, he had 152 moles removed and he has 152 pockmarks on his face, 152 people that thinks he looks like Clark Gable, 152 people that think he looks like a Clarke Bar." She then says "152 insights into my soul." Indeed writing stories about your life and experiences is like bearing 100 insights into my soul. Many of these are spiritual experiences, others are poking fun of my shortcoming and mistakes. But for the most part this is who and what I am. The experiences that each of us have are what make us the kinds of people that we are. Not only has this been a journey but in a way it has become a obsession, I have had five different entries printed in the local paper and many others sent to friends and family. Most of them still need to be edited and I'm not the greatest orator. I want to take some time to add pictures and correct the spelling and grammar. I also have decided that the reaching of this goal isn't the end of my journey, but it will continue - hopefully for years as I continue to write and make a fool out of myself.

What did you say?

First things first - some of you might find this one to be a little offensive, that wasn't my intent and if you feel that way I'm sorry. We all say things that are stupid or use a word that doesn't mean the same thing it once did, hows a person suppose to know? Some people are masters of speech and languages, they are able to speak volumes with only a few words or ideas. This doesn't always mean that what they are saying is correct or worth listening too. I've heard politicians give a discourse or presentation that was concise, eloquent and full of crap. Maybe that's why they were elected in the first place. I guess if someone tells you what you want to hear you may vote for them weather or not they have the ability or desires to fulfill their promises. Others use a word that they didn't intend to use or even know what it means. An acquittance told me that his toddler was begging him to watch the movie 101 Damnation's - now this is a more realistic concept than someone having 101 spotted dogs. Just let the kid watch cable TV for a couple of hours and they will see more than 101 things that someone would view as damnable offences. We took a group of teenagers on a pioneer trek to understand their heritage and what sacrifices where made in their behalf. There is a wonderful place in central Wyoming ran by Mormon missionaries where a number of pioneers lost their lives trekking to their Zion. During the orientation an Elderly missionary kept telling the kids that they shouldn't wear thongs because of the roughness of the trail, snakes and the dirt. That's what we use to call flip flops and this poor woman was as clueless as the kids were as to why she was spending time talking about such an embarrassing topic. At least none of the them slept through the presentation. This isn't the only word that has changed meaning - when I was a kid and went to church they had a separate meeting for the kids called Primary. The best part of it was singing time, we sang hundreds of songs. There were two that parts of the song aren't in the book anymore. One went something like this, "I am gay tra-la-la, night and day tra-la-la. The other one said, "I'm so glad when grandpa comes, when grandpa comes we're gay." I don't think these are songs they want your children singing at church. If a little boy walked down the street singing about his grandpa - there might be an investigation. A co-worker didn't feel so good the other day and took some medication, it kind of did some things to her, as she was laying down she made the comment that she was feeling a little queer. That's a blast from the past. I'm sure the medication wasn't making her question her sexual preference. My grandmother use to always say when someone make a mistake that they puller a big boner - I looked it up in the dictionary, it said a blunder or mistake. That might be true, but still don't say it in mixed company. All of these examples are because of changes in society or interpretation - but that doesn't change the fact that some people just don't have tact or don't care what people think. I was given the opportunity to serve as the head of our congregation at church. This is a big job and takes a lot of your spare time. This is a volunteer position and so you don't get paid. Right after I was sustain a lady came up to me and said she couldn't believe I was called to such a position. She stated that I was the most immature and irreverent person she knew - how would you like to start out with those expectations? Luckily for me she wasn't a member of my congregation, she has never brought up the topic again and I have long since been released. The other day my brother and I attended a viewing for one of our old friends that grew up in the neighborhood. There were a number of people from what we could now call the hood. One elderly couple was there that has know us for ever - he started to comment on how well we turned out and how proud he was of us. She decided to join in and said "I didn't think you guys would amount to anything." Well at least she didn't tell us that back then - maybe we would have believed her. I guess we need to remember that each of us have different opinions and some of the time what we are saying isn't looked at the way it was intended to be.

General Conference Tradition –

Some traditions are so embedded that who knows where they started or why we keep them going - we just need too. As a kid our Mom use to make rice pudding every Christmas - no one liked it but Dad. I'm sure there were some deep seeded memories - or it was just a chance for him to have something he liked without ten kids devouring it. That's the reason he bought Maple Nut Ice Cream - it would last longer than the twelve seconds it took us to realize there was Ice Cream in the house. Other times everyone knows when a tradition started - we had so much fun at an event that we're just trying to recreate the memories. Occasionally that's like trying to get lighting to strike in the same place twice. When there's a large difference in ages between the kids, we just want the younger ones to have the sames experiences. Growing up Lori had Easter egg huts - that works great in warm Las Vegas, but in Logan it's still cold and there could still be snow at Easter. So we decided to do it inside. Now the Easter Bunny is great at hiding eggs, so good that we've found some months later. Because there's a thirteen-year difference between the oldest and youngest children it's hard to make it fair and keep the older ones enthused. One of my co-workers gave me the perfect solution. Midst all the eggs, baskets and candy he placed plastic eggs filled with money. Tell a couple of staving college kids that there is money involved and someone could get a bloody nose. Thus began a new tradition. One year one of our daughters decided to bring along a kid that thought he wanted to be part of the family - what in the heck was she thinking? He came from a great family - but apparently they don't believe in candy or treats. He had never had an Easter basket let alone a free-for-all egg hunt. Well if he still wants to be part of the family after this? I guess I shouldn't put it all on one tradition - we have plenty of things that might drive away a possible suitor. He was defiantly hesitant and reserved. It didn't drive him away so the next Easter when he was part of the family, watch out - he was part of a starving college student dual. I have a feeling that our grandchildren will be hunting Easter eggs for years to come. This isn't even the story I wanted to tell. A tradition I've continued from my youth happens at General Conference. After the general Priesthood meeting all of the men would go out for dinner or a treat - this was just about the only time we went out, why wouldn't I be excited about that? Only having one son this would be great and not that expensive. He wasn't invited until he turned twelve - that's old enough to decide where he wanted to eat. Living in a predominantly Mormon community there are a lot of people that go out for dinner after, sometimes the lines at the restaurants are quite long. Well here we go his first opportunity to choose - really Panda Express? Well it didn't cost very much and there was only one other group there so we didn't have to wait very long. Over the years we've never gone to the same place twice - but for some reason the food has gotten better and more expensive with each visit. Panda Express, Fire House Pizzeria, Copper Mill Restaurant - then we went to some Japanese place with my brothers. The last one was a testosterone heaven, now that 's not it's name - but it could be since it's an all-you-can-eat meat fest. Rodizio's is a Brazilian restaurant where they walk around with big skewers of meat to cut off a slice at any table where people haven't passed out yet. I'll admit it was good and expensive. This time one of my son-in-laws decided he wanted to be part of the tradition, this isn't the same guy that never had an Easter basket, it's the other one - oh sure decide to become part of a tradition when we're going for the mother lode! My son has been on a mission the past couple of times and I'm sure we'll start the tradition back up when he gets home. I don't know where we'll go - but I know it will be expensive and worth every penny!