Oprah -

There’s something’s that a man just doesn’t admit. Occasionally it’s OK you did some of them because of special circumstances, which needs to be explained with a story of how it hardly ever happens. One of these is crying at the movies, I had something in my eye or my allergies are acting up. Watching the Oxygen Network, the remote battery gave out while I was surfing channels. Cross-stitching, I haven’t thought of a good reason for that one yet! Watching Oprah is another one of these. If you have ever watched her show you know that there are normally one or two men in the audience, if there are more then some of them are guests. I watch Oprah whenever the cable goes out and miraculously it’s the only station I can get. That occurs only a couple of times a month at the most. Everyone says getting tickets to Oprah is like winning the lottery – I wish, I only tried once and after a few calls I got through. I gave my ticket to one of my wife’s friends – the men went to Chicago with them and slept in during an early morning taping. One of the women in the group is so obsessed with Oprah, that after the show she stole a straw from a glass that she had used to get a drink of water. I don’t know what she did with it; it’s probably framed and hanging somewhere in her house. On one of these occasions that my cable went out I happened to see a show that Oprah and her guest were talking about how everyone has a story to tell. To prove their point they brought out a board with a map of the audience on it. A dart was thrown to choose an audience member to have a story done about them. Guess what, it was a man. That was their first mistake, most men don’t want their story told – especially on national TV with millions of woman watching. This is when I started to think what would my story be? I thought that I had more to tell than the one that was chosen - of course they only had a couple of minutes to give it. That is when I decided to write it down. It has taken a couple of years to start and get the courage to share it with other people. I have given hundreds of speeches during my life and on occasions someone asks if they can have a copy of my remarks. I usually don’t give it to them, because what are they going to use it for? There are a number of possibilities of what I could call my collection of stories; “Memoirs of an Ordinary Fat Guy,” “Life Stories from an Average Idiot,” “All of us have a story to tell” (that’s original), “What I have learned – Hurry up before I forget.” I agree with Oprah everyone has a story to tell, and if we could learn from others mistakes and successes in life wouldn’t it be a lot easier. Hopefully as you read mine you will remember your own. I don’t think I’m that much different that a normal guy and hopefully we can learn together. All of us make mistakes and need to understand that no one we meet is perfect. I don’t have any letters behind my name that should make me a credible psychoanalyst or stop you from going to therapy where they show you ink spots, or find some suppressed feelings or experience. But, I believe that no matter how bad or unfair your life experiences may have been, there is always a silver lining that can bring us hope, or a memory that can bring a smile to your face and a determination to learn from life’s joys and pains. I also think I have a different perspective because the last couple of years have been the hardest of my life. Maybe I should hurry-up and knock on wood – perhaps my head would work. Sometimes we think things are difficult, but just wait a couple of minutes and we may wish it would go back to where we had complained. Here we go – I hope you enjoy them as much as I have in writing them.