Worse Student Ever

A number of years ago one of my great friends and his wife, who are both high school teachers, were at a faculty gathering and dinner. These are held occasionally for those that work at the school and their spouses. At this occasion the teachers were discussing the worse students they have ever taught during their careers. I'm one of the majority of people that believe teachers are underpaid and shouldn't have to put up with what they do, making the possibility of such stories enormous. The High School they were at also happens to be my alma mater. During the conversations that transpired, these educators began to talk about why these students had achieved this status. One teacher nearing her retirement started in on her worse student and what this young man had done to receive her top pick. My friend was enjoying this conversation immensely, simply because I was her choice. The part of the story that was the most interesting to me was that all of the reasons for being her choice, I had never done. Now in her defense, there were a number of things I had done that would have made her remember me in a negative light. But it appears she had taken all the problems, pranks and disobedient acts that had happened around my time in school and attributed them to me. Some of these acts I would have been happy to take credit for, if in reality I had been involved. I asked my friend if he had defended me and told her how wonderful of a guy I was now. He quickly answered, "No, I wanted to hear what she had to say." It was no secret that both of us were not each other’s favorite student or teacher during my time at school. But I felt bad that after all these years she still held ill feels for my behavior. A short time later I saw her at a function and tried to talk to her, with no luck, as she turned and walked away. The moral or lessons from this event could be many: but there are three that stand out for me. First - if people treat you the way she reacted to me, you most likely at one time deserved it. Second - if you continue to hold grudges or malice for years against someone else, chances are their original deeds weren't as serious as you remember. And perhaps a third - don't believe all you hear about someone's past and the things they have done. This should also allow ourselves and others to change. There isn't a person that hasn't made a lot of mistakes. We need to forgive ourselves and those that have done us wrong. I believe like this teacher, those that continued to hold malice or hatred for another have a far greater burden than those that committed the acts in the first place. I literally had no idea she felt the way she did after all these years. These observations aren't always correct; some acts that are immoral, illegal or have a fraudulent nature are not easily forgiven. But, we can't change who or what they are, only ourselves and the way we feel about them.